What if Jesus came back? – Walking on Water

What if Jesus came back banner

Walking on Water

If Jesus came back today, doing and saying what he did and said 20 centuries ago: how many religious church-goers would welcome Him with open arms, dropping everything to follow Him?

Do today’s church-goers really know the Jesus whom they claim to serve? Or do they worship an imaginary Jesus of their own fashioning as a comfortable substitute?

If Jesus came back today, I think the likely popular reaction would be the following…


[Anchor] The religious outcast Jesus ben Joseph has again upset local authorities by carrying out further tomfoolery on public waterways: this time on the Great Lake. Our local reporter takes up the story.

[Reporter] Local Coastwatch officials are shocked at the irresponsible actions yesterday of the religious mystic Jesus ben Joseph: who last night recklessly endangered the lives of innocent civilians.

[Fishermen, in background] He walked upon the water! He calmed the storm! Even the wind and waves obey Him!

[Coastguard] Some eyewitnesses reported Mr Jesus sent off some friends around sunset in a tiny row-boat to cross the lake. And with this storm coming on – that was just plain stupid, not to mention dangerous. They are all lucky they didn’t drown – I don’t know how they survived when the storm hit. We’ve taken a look at the boat, and discovered they weren’t carrying the right safety gear. We’ve impounded the row-boat pending investigation…

[Eyewitness] I was hurrying to reach before the storm got any worse, and across the Lake I see a white ghost – some drowned sailor I suppose – walking across the lake towards a boat. Horrible! Terrifying! I was so frightened…

[Paranormal researcher] Ghost sightings like this are just what you’d expect from this location. Paranormal activity always increases at night… When the wind stopped blowing, the fishermen in the row-boat were clearly delirious from their near-death experience: they claimed to see this specter walking on the water, and one was so badly overcome with sheer physical exhaustion he actually jumped overboard and nearly drowned himself. While the possible effects produced by an over-stressed nervous system include hallucinations…

[Local Priest] I regularly visit my parishioners at home. At times I get calls to ritually perform the exorcism ritual – to protect their property from unwelcome ghosts and evil spirits…

[Reporter] It remains unclear why Jesus ben Joseph acted so irresponsibly, nearly causing the deaths by drowning of an entire boatful of fishermen. Police have declined to lay charges at this stage. Authorities strongly recommend boat-users check weather forecasts before engaging in water-activities on the lake…

[Anchor] A lucky escape for all concerned – but will they be as lucky next time? To our next story, will oil prices continue to rise? Our experts discuss this question…

walking on water

Advertisements