What if Jesus came back? – Feeding 5,000

What if Jesus came back banner

Feeding 5,000

If Jesus came back today, doing and saying what he did and said 20 centuries ago: how many religious church-goers would welcome Him with open arms, dropping everything to follow Him?

Do today’s church-goers really know the Jesus whom they claim to serve? Or do they worship an imaginary Jesus of their own fashioning as a comfortable substitute?

If Jesus came back today, I think the likely popular reaction would be the following…


[Anchor] The heretical Jesus ben Joseph struck again today in Central park, contravening Food Regulations and drawing the ire of catering companies and registered charities by distributing illicit free foodstuffs. While police investigate the allegations of numerous breaches of the Sanitations Act, our reporter comes in now live at the scene.

[Reporter] Local food-stores are demonstrating against unfair competition after the rebel minister known as Jesus ben Joseph fed crowds of people today in Central park with free fish sandwiches. The all-you-can eat buffet was laid on for a large crowd – some exaggerated reports estimate over 5,000 people – gathered to hear the controversial public speaker. But not everyone is happy with today’s event.

[Homeless people in background] He fed me! The first meal I’ve had in days! God bless Him!

[City Official] You can’t just hold a rally for this many people without a permit. This Jesus character can’t just flout regulations with impunity….

[Health Officer] The free food provided at this event contravened local Food Safety regulations. We have requested police to identify who provided these foodstuffs and warn them against repeating such atrocious actions, which often result in widespread food-poisoning…

[Grocery Store Owner] It’s bad for local business! Legal competition is a good thing and all that, but what do you expect us to do when people just show up dishing out free food to thousands of people? How am I supposed to make a living? I should just shut up shop and give my workers their notice… So what is the city council going to do about it?

[Charity spokesman] Mr Jesus is in clear contravention of our Charity Registration act. We can’t just have random people running amok like this performing well-intentioned good works. Charities try very hard to do the right thing: random pranks like this tarnish the reputations of charities everywhere…

[Local Minister] Our local churches provide registered charity services. This Jesus fellow is nothing to do with us: we work through the proper, approved channels. I call upon Mr Jesus to stop grandstanding and showing off, to show more respect for the community…

[Reporter] Local store owners will begin a campaign to petition the city mayor to refuse all free food distribution without authorisation…

[Anchor] We’ll keep a close watch on developments. In other news…

feeding 5000

Advertisements