What if Jesus came back? – Healing in Hospitals

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Healing in Hospitals

If Jesus came back today, doing and saying what he did and said 20 centuries ago: how many religious church-goers would welcome Him with open arms, dropping everything to follow Him?

Do today’s church-goers really know the Jesus whom they claim to serve? Or do they worship an imaginary Jesus of their own fashioning as a comfortable substitute?

If Jesus came back today, I think the likely popular reaction would be the following…


[Anchor] The subversive Jesus ben Joseph has struck again, this time by stirring up riots in the main public hospital. When police attempted to apprehend the dissenting cleric at the scene, his supporters intervened and allowed the alleged suspect to flee. The agitator left behind him three hospital wards collapsing into chaos. Our reporter brings us the following details. [Reporter] I’m here inside the main hospital, just about to enter Ward 3A. From where we are, we can already hear the disturbance inside: shouting and bizarre, off-key singing; disrupting the peace and tranquility of the hospital environment so necessary for healing and recovery. Remaining patients and staff are stressed and unhappy.

[Hospital patients dancing in background] I’m healed! Jesus healed me! Praise God!

[Hospital Spokesman] This firebrand Mr Jesus has, I’ve been told, illegally forced entry to our hospital ward and began actually praying for patients. Of course I have no wish to impugn the private religious beliefs of others – no matter how odd: but praying in public! I am told that this nonconformist never even washed his hands before touching our patients: an extremely irresponsible and negligent act which spreads infections everywhere… Our staff are still trying to calm everybody down…. Some of our serious cases are demanding immediate discharge – on the basis that their symptoms have vanished! Insanity! I don’t know how this conman hypnotised these patients: but we – the medical fraternity – know what is in our patients’ best interests…

[Specialist] After the revolutionary preacher departed, some patients were clearly hysterical. We tranquillised those who wouldn’t calm down so they could rest… The over-exertions of the past 24 hours will put their physical recoveries at risk…

[Hospital chaplain] The chaos caused by this eccentric padre is most lamentable. Miraculous healings indeed! The negligible placebo effect observed in a very small number of patients is vastly outweighed by the huge disruption to the lives of others… I urge all patients to follow their doctor’s orders. We give our patients the very best care possible…

[Reporter] The distress and wholesale disorder caused by Mr Jesus’ latest irresponsible excursion is unbelievable. Police ask the public to report any sightings of the suspect, so that he can be apprehended and detained for questioning. [Anchor] How long will such agitators be allowed to roam freely through our metropolis? We’ll keep you informed. Now to the weather…
Jesus Healing

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