Our Mother or Divine Celestial Being in Heaven
Hallowed by thy name.
Thy kingdom come (in a purely spiritual sense)
Thy will be done (as interpreted through strictly rationalist argument)
On earth as it is in heaven (to which all come eventually).
Meet our wants today using conventional, unmiraculous means (for the Age of Miracles ended long ago – if indeed it ever really existed).
And don’t think badly of our mistakes (for ‘sin’ is an outdated, outmoded and unnecessary concept for modern society)
And in return we promise not to think too badly of your mistakes either (like all the human suffering that you’ve either overlooked or are powerless to stop).
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours – although shared equally with us (for we are made in your image after all and therefore as worthy as you are).
Now and forevermore.