Welcome class! Today we will overview the improvements we have made to our opponents’ “traditional marriage vow”. Please note the outmoded language – representing, of course, their inimical worldviews; always opposed to the freedoms we ourselves espouse and encourage others to take advantage of.
The original marriage vow text is as follows:
“I take you to be my lawfully wedded spouse: to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, until death do us part.”
I need not comment further at this point: other then to note the plainly discernible undercurrent of theism. The widely pernicious effects of this wording caused us much concern: assigning our best agents to address the problem, we have finally succeeded in introducing many useful refinements into marriage legal codes around the world.
In effect, the marriage vow of today includes an addendum in these or similar words:
“I take you to be my lawfully wedded spouse: to have and to hold temporarily from this day forward: until I change my mind, or things get too bad, or you get too poor, or too sickly: in which case I shall free myself by divorcing you and let you meet with death alone while I pursue fairer prospects.”
It has proved an easy matter to delude most mankind to pursue such illusory “fairer prospects”: the present divorce rates are very encouraging. Our agents reinforce this trend by partnering with fashionable attorneys to advertise our “divorce brings profit” slogan to increasing audiences world-wide…